Happy Spring guys!
I’m reporting this to you live after making it all the way through Mr Willetts birthday. Now he’s not one for massive social occasions, in fact if you’ve ever met him you’ll know that he’s quite happy to sit on his own playing the latest iPhone game (Golf Clash is currently cool) quietly judging as we all chat around him. So when his birthday comes around every year the challenge is on.
Now there are a few rules for his birthday that MUST be followed or he’ll stomp his feet and probably refuse to leave the house (Yes, I am talking about my 20 something other half and not a child who doesn’t want to go to school).
Rule 1 – Any birthday celebrations MUST NOT clash with the PGA Masters.
This usually falls around his birthday EVERY year and he will make a public announcement over dinner every year that he is busy… from the Thursday evening until the Monday morning. Please ensure large supplies of junk food, beer and the local kebab is on speed dial for the occasion.
Rule 2 – No parties
The man hates chit chat and large crowds so this is a pretty obvious Birthday rule.
Rule 3 – Don’t waste money on cards or decorations.
If you have the burning urge to purchase any of these don’t. simply deposit the money you would have spent (yes we know its only £1/£2) into his bank account so he can spend it “wisely”… usually on a Greggs or some snacks for his big PGA weekender. His appreciation for this will be far greater than a card that sits on top of the fireplace collecting dust… This year we have just shy of £25 worth of pointless cards…
Rule 4 – If there is any sniff of a Fast and Furious spin off movie around his birthday… cancel all plans, were going to the movies.
It’ll probably be the most expensive cinema outing you’ve ever had because again as a child would he will ask for the biggest popcorn, freeze blast and nacho combination the cinema has to offer and he won’t even bother turning up if you haven’t booked the VIP seats on the day it opens.
it’s taken 8 years for me to master these simple rules and yet every year I still buy him a card… and I still get “thanks but I would have preferred the £2.00”. I would like to point out that Mrs Willetts Snr has this fantastic ability to ignore the rules and at times purposely breaks them for our enjoyment. Mr Willetts’ love for his mum means that he endures whatever silly thing it is she’s making him do and for that I love her. Above all else its extremely entertaining for the rest of us.
I’m hoping he enjoys!… Stay tuned to find out what went down…
Happy Birthday Mr Willetts you pain in the arse weirdo.
Mrs Willetts x